Forgive Yourself First

The state of your business and/or life may not be where you want it to be. That's fine. You now have the understanding to move forward from here. Often, the realization of what you don't want will prompt you into what you do want. But you cannot continue to beat yourself up over past mistakes and missed opportunities. Forgive yourself!

Regrets, I've had a few....but I did it my way. I hope that made you smile and lighten up on yourself a bit. We are our own worst enemy and worst critic. And it is so unnecessary. I'm not saying to become a psychopath with no conscious, but to give yourself the grace that you give others.

I used to beat myself up over some business decisions that cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars and so many hours of tears, pain, and regret. I'm not happy about it, but I did the best I could at the time. I just recently learned to forgive myself. I did not know and did not know that I did not know. However, now that I do know, it will never happen again. Forgiving myself allows me to learn the lesson and apply it going forward without the negative thoughts around the lesson.

Forgiving yourself lightens the load. There is no reason to carry such a heavy burden, which does not allow you to move forward. Everything is clouded by the regret because it is living in your head and infecting all of your decisions.

Release it. But is this easier said than done? Maybe, but here are a couple phrases to get you started:

• "I love myself. I love (insert your name)."
• Hug yourself and say "thank you (insert your name) for being great/wonderful/you" - - whatever supports you.
• "I forgive myself. I did the best I could and now I know." This releases the guilt and shame around what you are holding onto.

You have to train your brain to think differently. This is a daily practice, not a one-time elixir. So practice, repeat, and do it again.

There is an exercise you can do too. Write your regret on a piece of paper. Hold it and reflect on how you felt around the situation. Now throw it into a fire/ set it on fire and say "I release any guilt or pain from (the event) and am now free of worries from this". You can use any language that is comfortable for you, but acknowledge and release and watch it burn. The burning is an ending and finality to thought and guilt.

None of these is a magic potion, but once you start treating yourself as well as you treat others, with the same kindness and compassion, then you will see that you were given an opportunity to learn and grow from the negative experience and have taken a step forward. You have released the stigma and have opened the healing. It is all in your mind and you have the power to release it. But you have to take the first step and acknowledge the problem, then love it away.

A word of caution. There is a term, "Looping" which means that you go backwards and continue to play the same scene over again in your mind. When you catch yourself doing this, STOP. When the looping begins, acknowledge that you are backsliding and forgive yourself again. Do not allow the replay of the negative experience. Focus on your step forward. Forgive yourself.

If you need help releasing your guilt and moving your business forward, please schedule a complementary appointment with me at https://calendly.com/libby-coaching or email at [email protected]. Good luck.